I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
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