4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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