Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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