also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
