shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
