im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
