would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
