no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
