How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
