i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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