final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize