1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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