I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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