His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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