You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
