you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
