I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
