I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
