2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
