i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Text me some of your sweat
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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