So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize