I'm drive I can fine osifer
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
