big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i now understand why vodka
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize