ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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