Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize