Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize