Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
