To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
