so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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