YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
