You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
