He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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