Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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