My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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