i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
