So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
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He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
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This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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