I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
