I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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