i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
