yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
