I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
