dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
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Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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