I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
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the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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