We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
