I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's shark week go big or go home
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
