it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
