Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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