Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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