It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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