Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
