we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
