tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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