so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
