Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
