I wannas sexs uuuuu
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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